Unexpected Ending

I believe that every one of us had the experiences of predicting of how a movie or story will be ended. We try to analize the ending by using the previous life events, incidents, habits of the main characters/heroes or environmental factors. When the prediction we make is accurate, then we can say that the movie is predictable or we can expect something at the end of the movie.

Our lives are full of story and we are the writers of our lives – try not to see it in religious point of view. Sometimes we plan something so carefully to be done at one point of our lives. Some times, the plans work so good and we can be pleased with the results. But at some other times, the end of the stories become very unexpected and we couldn’t predict it in advanced.

I heard a story of someone from my past today. I heard that he just entered a monatery, to be a brother in that place. Out of my predictions, he chose to live a new life after all. He used to be a skillful worker at internationally known hair treatment company in Japan and Singapore. He was known as a good son in his family, and even though he had several unsuccesful love stories, he still known as someone with dignity and pride.

His best friend shared a story that since last month, he decided to enter 3 months probation to be a brother in a Catholic monastery at Rawaseneng, Central Java. I am still wondering to myself about his decision, because I knew his past and he was not into such thing.

I learned one thing from this incident, that we can have what-so-called Unexpected Ending, in which we can’t predict the closing of our stories and we never know our next steps. I know I am not being scientific now, but .. Not every decision can be predicted scientifically.

This Is It – Another Story of Michael Jackson

Tomorrow will be the last day of ‘This Is It’ movie in the theatre around the world, and I just watched it tonight. What I saw from that movie was the other side of Michael Jackson. He was showing his down-to-earth behaviors and he looked very humble. One of the crew said that he’s one of a kind, because it’s so rare to find pop star who’s able to control everything in hand, just like he did.

He makes sure that all the background and the visual effects are perfect (according to his standard). He also makes sure that all the musicians are counting on his clues, on when to start, when to keep the high note, or when to play a faster beat. It seems to be a normal request for every pop star who wants to perform their best, but … MJ got personality. He asks everybody to go along his will with LOVE. He always says that everything need to be rehearse and to be done for LOVE (he even spelled it L-O-V-E).

The Dancers

The first scene was a story behind the audition of the dancers. The choreographer said that the idea was to find the best fishes around the world and put them all into a pond. It means that the audition was opened for all professional dancers who want to participate in MJ’s concert and they came from all over the world! They loved MJ so much, that they were willing to travel halfway across the globe just to be part of the audition and wishing hard to be the chosen ones.

On one of the recordings, the dancers were trained by MJ himself. He was so careful to lead the group of 11 dancers (then reduced to be 10) and he was able to show off himself, in a positive way. All the dancers worshipped him and being in a stage with MJ was like their lifetime dream came true! But still, MJ was able to show his humbleness.

The Musicians

This is another bunch of talented and professional people. They were able to perform at their best level and still, able to be in the same direction with MJ’s will. They have been working with many other singers, but they said that nobody could beat MJ!

The skills that they have were amazing. I was like watching a real concert while I heard the blast of the drums and the melody threw by the guitars. It was a real experience!

I am not a big fans of MJ personally, but I admire his music since I was a kid. I have his ‘Dangerous’ album in cassette, which almost can’t be played due to my habit of repeating the cassette all day long, for a few months in a row! He’s a great and talented musician, song writer, creative artist and person. I almost had tears, when I saw him waving at the end of the movie.

Rest in peace, MJ!

Learning from Indonesian Suburb Community

I just started my internship at Peneleh Clinic on the last week of October, but I already saw many facts that used to be hidden from my sight. I saw many poor families have many children. I found out, at least 4 families with 8 children. All of them come from low income family and thus, are not able to give the optimal care and protection for their children. One mother with 8 children came for a monthly group meeting with the other housewives. She had her 8th baby (2-month-old) with her. She is a vegetables seller who had to start working very early every morning and she has to carry her baby and the other 2 toddlers with her. Rumours said that she had no husband, so the children came fromm different men.

Another story also strucked me hard. It happened when I saw a very young baby girl. She was born when she was 6.5 month old fetus and now she’s 1.5 month old. Her weight is far under normal weight of normal babies. She only weights 2.3 kgs. Even though she looks very small, her reflexes are good and she loves to drink milk. Her Grandmother said that she loves to drink bottled milk every 1 hour. Her mother, I think, is at her teen year (probably 14-16 years old). But they claimed that she’s 20 years old. Anyway, her mother is very young and I am wondering whether this condition causes the condition of the baby now. Her mother doesn’t even hold the baby when they came to the clinic. I was the one who was excited enough to hug and hold her.

This condition has been known as a popular phenomenon around suburb community in Indonesia. The low economic income, educational level and insufficient social support groups are the main factors that cause non-healthy habits or lifestyle. People need to be taught about the importance of having small family and how to educate their children properly. Parents also need to learn about positive parenting, in which parents can understand that their children need affection and care, as part of their normal development.

If these children are said to be the next generation, then what can we do to support them?

With Blackberry in Hands

This is my 3rd day of using BlackBerry – Gemini type. Somehow, I feel weird knowing that this smartphone has been used as a ticket to be accepted in the society. I already had that thought in mind long ago, before finally someone gave it to me as a present (I couldn’t say no!).

What is it about having a BlackBerry?

For some people, it’s about following the latest trend of phone using. For other people, this gadget is beautiful in many ways, because it is a multi-tasks phone, chic and smart. It can helps business people to be mobile and get connected everywhere. It also helps community to share the latest updates through facebook, twitter or BlackBerry Messenger (I didn’t say gossip though!)

BlackBerry offers a reality that the need of existence is now having the answer. By being online 24/7, people may believe that they own the existence needed in hands to live this life. BlackBerry also offers the most unbelievable ways to express oneself. A person may update his/her status every 2 minutes! Honestly, I hate seeing my home screen whenever all I can see are the latest 10 updates of the same person.

Autism Community

This is the era when people are not getting mad when they are called as autistic, as long as they have their BlackBerry in hands. My cousin greeted me in a warm opening line in my BlackBerry messenger. He said, ‘Welcome to the autism community, sist!” I guess nowadays, being an autistic person due to BlackBerry using is a new and acceptable trend.

The Users

The users of BlackBerry are varied in ages, SES and occupations. You can see very busy businessman or a cranky-but-cute high school student with BlackBerry in their hands. The extreme case is when kindergarten or primary school students are using BlackBerry in their daily life. The most match example are my own students. They come from very rich family who can facilitate them with the latest BlackBerry model. One of the girls had lost her Bold due to her recklesness, because she left it at her English tutorial class! But her parents bought her another new one. Well, what can we say?

Well, as humans, we are smarter than any gadget ever invented. So, use your BlackBerry wisely and don’t be fooled by it!

Tennis Athlete or Model: How People Share Their Comments

Since few years ago, we’ve seen many beautiful faces played as tennis athletes. The men are hot as well! I did not really pay attention to the beauty of those athletes. I saw many pictures in my brothers’ magazines about those beuaty at the tennis court. But, what really caught my attention was a conversation at the bookstore.

I was waiting for my relatives to come at a big mall in Surabaya. So, I decided to browse around at the bookstore, while I was waiting for them. It turned out that the sales persons were watching TV and they saw Maria Sharapova at one tennis game. She’s truly a beauty!

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The man at the bookstore said that Maria Sharapova should stop her career as tennis athlete, because she can be an actress. She doesn’t have to sun bathe anymore, because she will create more money once she agrees to be an actress. I was laughing silently, because the conversation really interesting for me.

What attracts me from that conversation was not the Maria Sharapova or tennis game, but more into how other people react at someone else’s life. Many of Indonesian TV stations broadcast stories about celebrities in countless gossip shows. Some are very funny and easy to follow, the others are created to be somehow scarier and full of mystery. The presenter will read the script in a certain tone which will give a chill sensation to the viewers. They will read the script with the same cold expression from the start of the show, til the closing.

Talking about someone else’s life contains a great fun! Yes, whether you like it or not, the rating of gossip shows is always high. Even in cable TV, you can find many stations which produce only gossip shows, and they could make life from that shows per se.

Anyway, let’s just quit, before we talk too far and start gossiping other people in my blog.

Lesson Behind Strawberry Juice

Early this afternoon, I had an idea to make strawberry juice for my family. My dad bought 2 big packs of fresh strawberry yesterday and I found a half jar of guava juice (very thick and sweet) in the fridge. This idea was completed by my will to have a healthy diet menu (fingers crossed).

So, during dinner hour, I sneaked to the kitchen. First, I wash a handful of strawberry and put them inside the mixer. Then, I said a prayer while I poured the guava juice. The final step was pouring water and add ice cube. I mixed all the ingredients altogether and with a careful move; I pour half glass of the juice. I started to drink it and taste on my own juice… I was pleased.

I handed the first glass to my cousin, and he said that it was too sour.

Then, I handed the second glass to my aunt and she loved it! She said the taste was just perfect (made me relieved).

Another cousin made a face when she drank the juice. I guess, she did not like the juice at all.

My sister-in-law liked that juice too. She said it was a glass full of freshness.

My parents did not really like it, because they said it was too sweet (they have to control their sugar input).

Anyway, I learned a lesson today. I know now how does it feels to be my mom, when she serves the food for her family. My mom is one of a kind. She always cooks for her family and loves every moment of sharing the food. She praises us whenever we can empty the plates and not leave any food behind.

My mom is my role model. I would love to be a good cook like she does, beside I am too lazy to start. I hope this strawberry juice lesson would give me a good start to learn how to cook for my family. I am pretty sure that appraisal and condemnation would take part in my process of learning.

Personal Lesson Learned from David Goodwin

This part is the latest update regarding my activity at Children Counseling seminar with David Goodwin. The whole sessions with 57 participants had finished last night (Friday, September 18, 2009), but my session with Mr Goodwin won’t be done until today. I just had a great moment with him, for I had to accompany him in his DVD recording sessions at YPPII studio. He will publish 16 packages of children counseling tools for parents, counselors and children pastors.

About 10am this morning, we arrived at the studio and started to get ready straight away. I had to help Mr Goodwin communicate with the cool crews, Enos and Nuri. They were a good team and they did their job whole-heartedly. During his recordings, I tried to my best to behave. I listened to his speech, as if I was the only student in his classes. He had a very good stamina, for he could record 5 sessions (each for 45-60 minutes) with only 1 hour lunch break between the 2^nd and 3^rd session. We finished the whole recording at 530pm.

David Goodwin (far right), the participants and me (far left)

I learned many lessons today:

1. Mr Goodwin is a very humble person. He has been known internationally as a speaker and children counselor, but he still holds onto the simple value of respecting other people and never underestimates them.
2. He is also a good teacher and lecturer. I could understand his method of teaching without any head-scratching on my side. He was able to deliver complicated issues in easier ways, without simplifying the essence.
3. He loves to throw jokes. I just knew this particular habit this year, even though I’ve met him last year. He said that he loves to ‘fooling around’. This is another way to show his humbleness. I just love this guy.
4. He is a good listener and counselor. This skills has been trained for the past 40 years! He has helped children and their parents, which can proved his ability to help other people.

David Goodwin demonstrated Kids Keep Safe programme

I bought Bullying book and worksheets CD-ROM from his programme. He also gave me a great book on children ministry called The World Needs Children Ministry Leader, which tells about leadership in children ministry based on Moses. It is going to be a great journey of reading his books.

I will catch up again with him next year, for the continuation of this seminar. It will be heap!

School of Children Counseling 2

Today is my first day to be at School of Children Counseling. It is actually the 3rd day of the event, but I couldn’t come earlier, for I still had my classes to attend. What I learned from David Goodwin at the first place is not to set high expectation based on last year’s experience. Last year was the first time this event been held and it was a great event. The participants were almost twice as much as this year participant, which hit 57 people. The commitee was also had hectic week last year, while this year seems a bit slow and not too packed.

I had a chat with the leading Pastors and his wife. They think that this year is somehow better, because the situation is not too crowded like last year. So, the speaker and the participants can get along better and they can interact in a better way too. I hope so too …

I only had two sessions today. The first one was about John, the previous client of David Goodwin who had ADHD back then. Now, John is in his mid 20’s and we do not know much on his development (for this is not part of the seminar). Goodwin mentioned the good development of John on his 21st birthday a few years ago. He was a very talented young man who took charged on a big Christian Seminar in NSW and, mostly, in his church.

The second session was movie night. It is still the same movie, Antwone Fisher. It’s a movie about Fisher, who had gone through hard times and rejection during his childhood and the damage still has its effects up until his adulthood. The traumatic event of being sexually abused, makes him a man who was still virgin at his 25 (of course, for some culture or beliefs, having pre-marital sex is not acceptable). The rejection from his mother turns him into an angry man, who unconsciously always be part of any quarrels and other forms of aggression. I have been watched this movie 4 times, but still I missed some detail parts of the movie. I am glad that I watched that movie again a few hours ago.

Note:

Being a counselor for children is a way of helping them recognizing their problems, help them to understand their situation and also, to help them find the best way out based on their characteristics. Working with children is exciting, and yet troubling, because we need to read beyond the lines. We can’t notice that any emotional/psychological abuse is happening, because there is no physical marks on the children. But, we can notice such abuse is happening, only if we can build a close and trustworthy relationshop with the children. They are the most honest people, who would change their behavior when their circumstances has been disturbed, even by a small incident.

So, keep the hard work, counselor!

My First Day of Lecturing

Yes, today is my first day of teaching at the Nursing Academy. I’ve been waiting for this day to come. First thought in my mind was: ‘Would I be able to do it? Will I love it?’

Formally, this is my first time of teaching in higher educational level and I think, I just fell in love. The class was scheduled for 3 hours and I have two classes in a row. Because today is the first week, I just gave them short introduction about Psychology and the rules applied in my class. It took me 1.5 hours for each class, so it wasn’t a full session yet. But, my voice is now almost gone! I can’t imagine how I will work through those 2 full sessions…

I learned a lot of things today. First was about the image of lecturer in Indonesia. I believe the students think that lecturer at higher educational level must be in middle age with scary face, heavy voice tone and bold glasses. Today, I was wearing a white casual shirt, black pants and colorful necklace. What surprise me was the look in my students eyes! They were like, ‘Is she the lecturer?‘ Well, I am definitely not a fortune teller or a mind reader, but their gaze at me could tell.

Second, I learned that the students are coming from many different cities, big and small. They are bundling together in my class and they help each other. I saw the after-class process in both classes. They handed out some papers which have been photocopied for the whole class. In one class, the leader of the class organized the students to pay such amount of money to make them easier when it comes into photocopy the materials. They tried their best to catch up. I hope this effort would last …

Third, I also learned that through teaching, I would have the opportunity of re-learning the previous materials and also keep on learning new perspective from my students.

Keep it up, guys!

Make Peace With Our Past

I had this conversation with my aunt this morning. It was about letting go all the things that we have been through in the past and make peace our past.

It is easy to say that we have done dealing with certain event or person from our past. But, when we have to look and dig deeper on that particular event/person, we still can feel certain feelings that we felt when that event happened.

Let me tell you the experience that my aunt feels up until today. So, long time ago, she wanted to apply for a scholarship in Netherlands. She went for language course and found a friend who wanted to go the same way. During the preparation, my Grandma told her to quit and stop all the plans straightaway. Grandma thought that if my aunt went to Netherlands that day, she wouldn’t be able to keep in touch with her. She was afraid that she would lost contact with my aunt.

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Even though that event had happened long before I was born, my aunt still has that dream in her daily life. Especially when her days are rough, she would goes back to those days of preparation. She would embracing the moments and the wishful thoughts of having a better life in the Netherlands. This bad feeling was deepened by the fact that her friend (who had the same language class together) moved to the Netherlands. She told me that somehow she blamed my Grandma for not letting her go that day.

I have my own experiences of not making peace with my past, so I know how she feels about that event. I learned a lesson: no matter what had happened in our lives, the most important thing is how we react/respon upon that event. We can continue our lives by making peace to our past, or we can still walking forward without making peace with our past. There is only 1 difference between those two things, that we have no burden at our back when we are able to make peace with our past.